As summer turns to fall, families with school-age children engage in a familiar ritual – gathering pencils, folders, and notebooks, meeting new teachers, figuring out new schedules and settling into another school-year routine. For families of school-age students with learning or behavioral concerns that affect them at school, this ritual has an added component. These families are also looking at the curriculum expectations of the new grade, wondering how well they align with their student’s strengths and challenges, reflecting on how the last school year went and anticipating how the student might adjust to the new teacher and class structure. Many parents find themselves questioning their roles as advocates for their students –how much is too much, how much is too little, when is the right time to step in, and when is the time to support independence – as well as struggling to balance other competing demands – work, the needs of other family members, and the ever-elusive self-care. While there is no easy path to becoming and remaining an effective parent advocate, keeping a few points in mind may help parents and students clarify their goals, make meaningful progress, and start the year off strong.
Set Personal Goals – A central focus of meetings with school teams is often the identification of specific academic and/or behavioral goals for a given academic year. This process is important but can also cause families and students to lose sight of the bigger picture – to “miss the forest for the trees,” as the saying goes. Many families and students have personal goals beyond academic skills – developing areas of passionate interest, making or maintaining friendships, or exploring new extracurricular activities. Taking a moment to jot down some of these personal goals and reviewing them at the beginning of each year can help families keep the long view in mind, provide clarity during moments of indecision, and relieve some of the stress that can accompany short-term challenges.
Communicate from your own expertise – Educators and professionals have a great deal of expertise to share about their areas of specialty. Parents have equally valuable expertise to share in terms of their knowledge and experience supporting their children over the years. Students with similar learning challenges will have different areas of strength and skill, different needs, and may respond differently to similar supports. It can be helpful for parents to use their expertise to communicate what they know in each of these areas for their student. Consider drafting a brief one-pager with 3- 5 bullet points under each category – strengths, challenges, and strategies – and sharing this at the beginning of the year. This can help reduce trial-and-error as the teacher and student establish their new working relationship and creates a resource that teachers can refer back to throughout the year.
Look beyond academics – Many students who struggle in school experience successes and strengths in other areas of their lives – a student may be a committed athlete, a loyal friend, a creative artist or a warmhearted animal lover. On the surface, these skills can seem unrelated to academics, but these characteristics and experiences often impart skills that can be transferred to support school success. Students who perform in athletic endeavors know how to tolerate repetitive practice, take advice from coaches, and persist in the face of disappointment. Students who participate in creative endeavors often know how to consider others’ perspectives, pay attention to unusual details, or think broadly about problem-solving. Identifying the strengths that exist beyond the academic realm can help boost student self-confidence, reveal skills that students and teachers can tap into to support learning, and suggest experiences that offer an opportunity to blend a student’s extracurricular interests with their academic goals.
Organize materials and plan to check in early – Many parent advocates know the importance of organization and keeping materials together, be it with a binder system, an accordion folder, or other tools that work for the student and their family — reviewing these systems at the beginning of each year is important to ensure that materials are still available and can be located when needed. While doing so, it can be helpful to set a schedule for “checking in” with a student’s educational team at specific points during the year (e.g., mid-semester or after each quarter). Depending on the school structure and the family needs this can occur during a larger event such as “Back to School Night,” or can be individually scheduled meetings or emails with the education team. During these meetings it is helpful to identify things that have worked well so far, as well as any concerns or questions that might have arisen. Planning early check-ins early can open the path to parent-teacher communication that is focused on supporting school success, rather than solely on problem identification.
Include the student in self-advocacy – The question of when, how, and to what to degree a student should be included in advocating for their own needs is a complicated one for many parents and school teams. In my experience, it is both possible and important to involve students in some level of self-advocacy beginning at an early age. Students – even at the elementary level – are often quite aware of the challenges they are experiencing, but may be less aware of their strengths, or of the opportunities available to ease their struggle. Encouraging participation in their own support planning can help build confidence and self-knowledge that will be valuable throughout their school career. For young students, the beginning of self-advocacy may be engaging in a conversation with their parents about their areas of skill and strength and encouraging them to ask their teacher one question per day. As students advance, they may also be able to explain their challenges from their own perspective, and suggest some supports that may be helpful, or offer feedback on how effective the supports may be. Older students may be comfortable participating in team and teacher meetings, especially as they prepare for the transition from high school their post-high school plans.
Unfortunately, even the best laid plans do not guarantee a smooth or successful school year. Along with these strategies, it is important to maintain connections with local resources who can help address problems if they arise, engage with other parents to share ideas, advice and support, and plan personal and family time separate from school concerns to ensure that everyone has an opportunity to rest and recharge.
