Self Care


The Problem with Jogging

On a whim and while struggling with the challenge of finishing my doctoral dissertation, I purchased a flask with the following quote engraved on its leather sleeve: “The problem with jogging is that the ice falls out of your glass.” I thought that was quite a hoot given my current state of mind and long-held belief that running could never be something I would enjoy. The notion of running for fun also contradicted my memories of eighth grade and running suicides in the Moore Junior High School gym.


Avoiding the “I’m So Busy” Trap

Anyone who has had the chance to work in more than one psychology department – either as undergraduate, graduate, or faculty member – comes to realize that every workplace is different. There are different norms, different dress codes, different colleagues, and different leadership styles. But whatever work setting you end up in, you are guaranteed to find one strong commonality:

everyone is so busy.

And you will find this commonality immediately because everyone will want to tell you how busy they are.


An Easy Way to Handle Criticism

Last month I gave a conference talk where I was one of several invited, keynote speakers. The audience was around 300 people, and I felt prepared, but a bit nervous. Giving talks like this are not necessarily new for me, but only a few times have I been featured in such a prominent role. Once I got going with the talk two things happened that I was unprepared for.



Year-by-Year Self-Care for Graduate Students: Third Year Students

For Third-Year Students: This year is all about knowing when to plug in and when to unplug. With two years under your belt, you can not only identify your strengths but are also likely to be able to identify the people and places that make you stronger. Make this year about capitalizing on the connections you’ve made, and don’t forget to add a little something new along the way!

(Source: GotCredit on Flickr; some rights reserved)

(Source: GotCredit on Flickr; some rights reserved)

Develop support systems.

After two years in your doctoral program you are likely to have been exposed to both happy and more trying moments. In those moments you’ve probably taken note of who was with you during those easy and hard times, and how they contributed to your experiences. Remember those people, and keep in touch with those who make you the happiest. Some of these people might be in your own research lab or weekly seminar. Others might be friends of friends who are not in graduate school, but manage to force you out of your apartment on a Saturday night on a strict “no-thinking-about-your-research” policy. Whether in your cohort or off-campus, these are the people who get you through. Know who they are and make time to be with them.

Take a vacation! Or just temporarily vacate.

Take a seat, or get moving...either way find time to relax away from work (Source: Willemvdk on Flickr; some rights reserved)

Take a moment, or get moving…either way find time and space away from work (Source:Willemvdk on Flickr; some rights reserved)

Sometimes a great getaway is just a bike, ride rather than an expensive plane ticket, away! Remember to bring along your important people and hit the road. (Source: Kamal Zharif on Flickr; some rights reserved)

Sometimes a great getaway is just a bike ride rather than an expensive plane ticket, away! Remember to bring along your important people and hit the road. (Source: Kamal Zharif on Flickr; some rights reserved)

It is likely that limited finances and long hours of studying, teaching, data analysis, or conference preparation will all be viable reasons for not taking the breaks we would like to take. It is this writer’s opinion, however, that you don’t need to be 100% settled in life to take a 100% rest. When and however you can, build in time to get away from your program. Getting away does not necessarily need to look like everyone else’s vacation. There are, however two requirements: (1) no checking email (yes, I said it); and (2) leaving the vicinity that you currently live or go to school in. As long as your mind is not on work and you are off the grid, you are resting. For example, even if you do not have the option of going on a trip that requires spending money and a passport, you can still pool your options for going someplace new—even if it is only for a weekend.

Some doctoral students prefer to save for a one-to-two week trip. Others may benefit more from shorter weekend trips. Whichever way you travel, allow yourself the escape. The more able you are to take a break, the easier it will be to look forward to getting back to work with a clear head.

Reposted with permission from the American Psychological Association’s GradPSYCH Blog

Editor’s Note: This is the third installment of a 4-part series. View part 1, dedicated to the first-year graduate school experience, and part 2, dedicated to the second year.

Check out the 4th and final installment of “Year-by-Year Self-Care for Graduate Students” on APAGS’ GradPsych Blog 


Year-by-Year Self-Care for Graduate Students: Second Year Students

For Second-Year Students: One year into graduate school, you are likely to meet feelings of adjustment with recognition that you are (somehow) only getting busier. Here are some tips on how to manage your new-found groove while facing even newer challenges and tasks–you can do it! (View Part 1  of this series, dedicated to the first-year graduate school experience.)

Change up where you work.

Studying may not sound like it has much to do with self-care, but after a year in a doctoral program it is as important to continue to stay diligent as it is to make time to play and have fun—this means it is it’s a good idea to match your growing focus with an occasional new discovery, such as a new place to hit the books! There are several gains associated with finding new study spots.

Many students like to find new and interesting places to hit the books (Source: Neo II on Flickr. Some rights reserved.)

Many students like to find new and interesting places to hit the books. Studying in various locations can help with focus and recall. (Source: Neo II on Flickr. Some rights reserved.)

Research has begun to consistently point to evidence that switching where you work or study can be helpful for your memory, concentration, and performance habits.  In addition, finding different places to work familiarizes you with where you live, and can build in organic breaks to your work (for example, a coffee shop closing, the proximity of your local library to a friend’s house or movie theater).

It’s of course important to have a good work space at home and at school, but having other options may allow you to perceive working as less of an inevitable chore and as more of a chance to explore where you live while you develop more flexibility and resilience in your work style. An important disclaimer to this, however, is to be mindful of privacy issues in relation to data, clinical work, and teaching courses!

Begin to shift your focus from “student” to “trainee.”

You are not only a student but a professional in training--don't be afraid to own it! (Source: University of Exeter on Flickr; Some rights reserved).

You are not only a student but a professional in training–don’t be afraid to own it! (Source: University of Exeter on Flickr. Some rights reserved.)

Whether training to become an academic, a public servant, or to work as a clinician, your passion and commitment to your training is your first priority in graduate school. For first year students, this commitment can be daunting to focus on with such primacy amidst moving to a new place, meeting new people, and forging new professional relationships, all while managing a course load.  It can feel counter-intuitive (and ultimately can be counterproductive) to try and immediately fully align your priorities to your research, clinical work, or other professional training opportunities during you first year. It may be wise to acquaint yourself with the level of difficulty and expectations around coursework in your doctoral program.

Once you have two terms worth of grades under your belt, however, it is time to make the sometimes awkward shift from over-achieving student to ambitious scholar. This means that caring for yourself while in training will mean caring about what you are there to be trained in.

“Let go of perfectionism. Embrace the stumbles, risks, and uncertain steps forward.

By the time you are a doctoral student, it is likely that you are already a high-achieving student, and consequently the tendency may be for doctoral students to initially care more about their performances in their courses than anything else. You should find, however, that your advisors, supervisors, and mentors care about your professional development and scholarship more than they do about your grades. This means it will be up to you to manage coursework with your other responsibilities.A part of this management will mean letting go of the perfectionism common to aspiring graduate students and embracing the stumbles, risks, and uncertain steps forward affiliated with training on the doctoral level.

Uncertainty will not always make you feel good right away but it is far from your enemy. With your sense of self on one side and social support in the other, lean into your training and allow yourself some distance between you and your image of what it means to be the best student—you have bigger fish to fry.

Reposted with permission from the American Psychological Association’s GradPSYCH Blog


Year-by-Year Self-Care for Graduate Students: First Year Students

For First-Year Students, Make time: Your first year of grad school can be be a big adjustment but being prepared and keeping some self-care strategies in mind will help you transition smoothly. In your first year, make time to

Disconnect electronically.

It may appear counter-intuitive, but planning time where you do not work is as important as planning time for when you do work. Making time for yourself can be facilitated by signing off of all chats and other mobile devices at set times each day so that you are not inundated by messages you feel obligated to respond to at odd hours of the day or night. Although it is true you will have ongoing work while in school, it is also true your productivity benefits from unplugging. During your first year make friends with the idea of having professional boundaries, and put them to work!

Read your program’s handbook.

Most programs or departments will have a handbook, manual, or guide that details anticipated goals broken down for your program of study. The handbook’s aim is to acquaint you with the expectations of your program for each year or term you are enrolled as a student.  Despite the aim of the handbook being welcome students to their graduate program, these guides are often long and can feel overwhelming at first –this results in students holding off on reading through important information. One way to evade the temptation to avoid when reading your handbook is to think of it as an indexed syllabus that you will never need all of at once. Trying breaking it down month-to-month, read what you need, and bookmark the rest. Don’t be afraid to find out what’s expected of you by doing your own research, and taking it one term at a time.

An added benefit of knowing the handbook well is that it can also help you to break ground with your advisor. By confirming with your advisor what is expected of you in accordance with the handbook, you are showing her/him your investment in the program, A discussion with your adivsor over the handbook can also help you begin to carve out a plan for managing time in your advisor’s research lab with other program requirements.

Get to know your cohort.

The reality of graduate school is that members of your cohort will not remain completely in sync or on the same schedule for every moment of your doctoral program. It is equally unlikely, however, that anyone else in your life will quite understand what that first week, month, or mid-term exam was like for you. Cohorts are like families in that everyone is an individual, but shared experiences can bring and keep you together. You will always have your first year to look back on, so do not be afraid to connect with your fellow students during your first year.

Take time during this first year on at least three different occasions to meet for a happy hour, a game night, or some other non-academic activity. It is true that much of what doctoral programs include involve long hours of work, but it is also true that students are not people without senses of humor, enjoyable quirks, and necessary inside jokes. Develop these traits and experiences in your new surroundings, find out more about yourself with your cohort by your side.

Keep in contact with close friends and family.

The people who likely saw you through your application process will likely be some of the same people who see you through graduate school. It’s a good thing to immerse yourself in what is happening with your program but remember you were interesting and important before beginning this graduate school experience.

Whether those bonds involve platonic, familial, or romantic partnerships, continue to be mindful of how friends and family show up in your life as you embark in your doctoral program. Go to these relationships for support, and remember to show up for your supporters when and how you can. They are likely an important part of who you are, and who you will become.

Reposted with permission from the American Psychological Association’s GradPSYCH Blog